June 10th and 11th

I can't really remember Friday now. Errr, we lazed around at mine. Mum bought us a KFC. "Us" consisted of me, Dave, Charlie, Graham, Rachel, Sam, Emily, Caz and Marriott. First time Emily had seen my house! It was presentable. Yay! The mood was kind of odd. We ended up splitting into two groups, I do believe. Me, Dave, Caz, and at points Charlie and Marriott, were downstairs discussing certain topics. Most of the time, it orientated around girls and stuff. I thought Sam and Rach got p'ed off with those who split off, I was part of the 'splitting off group'. I REALLY can't remember much. Someone wish to help me out? Anyway, the guys stayed over - Graham, Dave, Sam and Marriott.

Hmm...Saturday. Alright, it was my birthday, yay! The day started off with the guys, at midnight. Then I went down to see my mum, who gave me a hug and a kiss. Awww. Then she told me to open my cards, so I did. Got a card from Tilly. Lame. =P Mum gave me 2 wrapped packages. I got some deodrant, a short sleeved baby blue shirt, a long sleeved baby blue shirt and some shower gel. Then I said goodnight to her and went to hang with the guys. It was 00:24 when I went up. They were watching Star Wars spoofs. Ha ha, they're so funny. Anyway, I can't quite remember what we did. I think we Mario Kart'd. Then Dave went and plonked himself on my bed with the big pillow. At 2:20am, I went to lay on the bed next to him. Marriott, Sam and Graham put on the Urethra Chronicles 2. I was awake for 10 minutes of it, then fell asleep. I woke up randomly through the night as Sam, Marriott and Graham played pranks on me. Here's some of the photos:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/cajunmonkey/IMAG0024.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/cajunmonkey/IMAG0028.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/cajunmonkey/IMAG0031.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v360/cajunmonkey/IMAG0032.jpg

I'm too lazy to edit the linking or whatever. Just click the links. I'm sure you found them hilarious. I ended up waking up around 7:30, I think. Dave woke up soon after me. The 5 of us just listened to music and laughed about what they'd done to me through the night. I hate the fact Dave is such a light sleeper. Damn you, Dave! They should have picked on him but noooo! I was the target. Anyway, we listened to music and stuff until Sam left around 9. Dave and Graham left 5 minutes later, with Marriott leaving with them. I jumped into the shower at quarter past 9 and was out by 9:40. Rather long shower. o.0 I text Rachel as soon as I saw the time so she had time to get ready. Anyway, I dressed, listened to music whilst waiting for Graham and Dave. They showed up at 9:50 and Sam came soon after. Marriott came around 11:20 and Caz came soon after. We just listened to music and we were all still waiting for Rachel. Dave had also text her. So I ended up phoning her house and guess what! She hadn't even bothered to read the messages because she didn't know she was making plans with us. What the fuck?! It was my fucking birthday, Rachel! Anyway, that annoyed me. So she ended up coming round about 12:15, but didn't stay long. We all cleared out to go to Uxbridge. I text Emily to meet us in at 1. I thought we'd get in before, but hey, why not leave some time to compensate for delays? We walked Dave to Kingston and parted with him there.

We walked on, into Uxbridge, and I was right, we were early. We passed into the tunnel bit at 12:51pm and went into The Chimes. I checked my phone to see if Emily had called, nothing. So we went into HMV where there was nothing of much interest. Don't remember what else we did in The Chimes, but we passed FCUK and I phoned Emily to see where she was since it was 1:10pm. She was at the wall outside Woolworths. I thought "Hmmm, fair enough - why didn't you ring/text me to tell me you were in?" Anyway, whatever. We went towards them and I had a feeling I was to be suprised. We were like 70m from them when Marriott says to me "hmmm, Emily's not alone". Then I looked over and saw Charlie, to which I reacted with "yay, yay!" My heart was beating like crazy, I was so happy! So we went over and she dished out the hugs. I got mine last, but I don't care; I got one. She looked rather purdy. I got a LOT of attention from grunger wall. I mean, I was wearing a hot pink shirt that was open with a turquoise Converse t-shirt, fluorescent orange 3/4s and turquoise Converse 'sneakers'. Hah. Ian came over and some random girls. They looked like they were in year 9, so I was like "wtf?" Anyway, I got my green shirt off Charlie. I was asked to change into it, but thought not. Then I found out Charlie had my Fall Out Boy album! AH! She still has that. Grrr. =P She really likes it, apparently. Random stuff happened and I dragged Ian away when we left. CD Warehouse was the first stop, I think. Random other places visited, we were jumped by Carol and Joy outside of Argos after Rachel had just bought a lime green bag for her mum.

Alright, so we went to Sainsbury's, next. The intention was to buy ice cream then go to mine. I bought my ice cream - mango sorbet, Marriott and Sam bought huge tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. The three of us and Caz went to see Dave. Mark, Charlie, Graham, Rachel and Emily didn't bother going to see Dave. Once they'd bought their stuff, we lost them. So then, me, Sam, Marriott and Caz went outside to wait for them. After 5 boring minutes, I went in to look for them. I found none and asked Dave if he'd seen them - he hadn't. So I reported back to Marriott and Sam. We decided to phone them from Sam's phone. They were at McDonald's which made me uber pissed. Sam and Marriott made me calm down. But it was like "what the fuck? why are you at McDonalds? And why didn't you tell any of us? And why didn't you go and see Dave?" Anyway, we met up with them and I had my fake smile on. The next decision was to go to mine. So off we walked. Caz and Marriott lingered behind when we'd passed Kingston. Graham and Charlie were "leading" the way and were going down Kingston when I called them back to go down Royal Lane. Graham looked pissed and Charlie was perplexed. Sam got annoyed that Graham was attention seeking. I didn't really notice, or in fact, care if he was. It was MY birthday and thus, I would be happy. It was only after passing St John's that Ian asked if he could actually come to mine. I had no problems with that.

So, we got my house. Ian and Mark were new to my house. It was messy and awful, but I don't think they minded. We had a cool time. Mark had to leave fairly early - around 6, I believe. Dave came around 6:40. We messed around listening to music and stuff. A few things annoyed me. Sam left early because he was feeling ill, he did not return. Then, the vote was passed to put Sin City on, so on it went. All the good seating positions were taken so I had to assume a place on the floor leaning against my big pillow. I fell asleep 10 minutes into the film. When I woke up the first time, I saw Marriott cross past me. The second time, Caz woke me up and Dave looked bored. Caz said something to me and we went downstairs. Marriott was down there. So the three of us chatted in the conservatory, then Dave came. Charlie came around 5 minutes after him. That left Emily, Ian, Graham and Rachel upstairs. So we had a cool convo downstairs and it was fun. Charlie put my green shirt on and I overheard her and Caz talking about something that should not be repeated. Quite interesting, though. Anyway, she looks hot in my shirt. When the film had finished, Graham came to tell us they were walking Ian to the alley. They took an awfully long time to return and so we guessed they were walking him home. It was then decided that we would order 2 Domino's pizzas in. We got a Hawaiian and a modified Full House. That was nice and tasty. Brought us all together. We just hung out from then until they all got picked up. I think Dave ended up sleeping. Didn't want the guys to leave, but meh. Not a bad day.

Verdict: my birthday was not all I had hoped. I was very grateful for the many presents I received, though. Thank you for your time, money and effort involved.

On a side note; I'm sorry this entry is SO late.

And this brought me down from my mighty pissed off state of mind.

I lay and tell you but you swear you love me more says:
I know Aaron. I'm SO sorry. It's just, look, this day last year, was when we were together first. She said she probably wouldn't be able to make it. But she did and I'm really sorry I couldn't come.

Thank you, Graham. I accept the apology. So glad I'm not pissed anymore. *feels close to God*

Hah, I'm going to piss you off.

I figured out what I'm going to do about something. Ha ha, this'll leave you with SO many loose ends. I can't tell you, or it ruins the point of it. Hah, I pissed you off and I don't care at all!

Need I say any more?

Yay!

Charlie's okay! pwnage.

Had a really great time with her earlier. Yay!

A post aimed at Graham.

You are good enough for your friends, you know you are.
Your family appreciate you, you should know that.
Not good enough for yourself? I don't think so.

Sorry for my attitude.

Well, I've been really pissed off and angry since I got back from school. Actually, I think it came about when my parents disturbed me during Bleach. Bleach is a Japanese anime that I watch, just so you all know. Ichigo was just about to fight Kenpachi and then I got called down. Some things just piled on after that and my mood's just been getting worse. I don't actually know why I felt like that.

Anyway, I've been upset for the past hour or so. I can't point a finger on that either but a phone call to Caz sure wasn't worth the fucking effort.

It's not my fault!

The entry should be here, I know. Why isn't it? Well, blame Opera. I had half of it done. I'd done Friday night and Saturday. Then Opera crashed on me and gone was my post! I'll probably restart it tomorrow and have it by the weekend. I do apologize.

A VERY short entry to let you know what to expect tomorrow.

I shall blog on:

• Friday night.
  
• Saturday i.e. my birthday.
• my conversation with Charlie on Sunday.
• how I feel right now - well, I'm actually tired. Lol, I mean deeper than that.

See you, guys. Look forward to the new entry.

I'm 17.

And I want to be 16 again.

My birthday! Yay!

Err...yeah, I'm 17. It's not fun at all. I miss being 16. *cries*

Cool lyrics.

"And you know you said you'd never end up this way,
Close the door behind you, I just wanna stay for a while.
We all fall down, we all fall down, we all fall down.

Down on the inside, pretty on the outside,
Turn it around. Can we turn it around?"

Bowling For Soup rock.

Let's not go into it.

I messed up philosophy and ethics. If I don't drop it, I'm definetly retaking. I really screwed it up. *sigh*

Well, anyway, no exams! And the party starts tomorrow! Kind of looking forward to tomorrow. Oh and I got my first birthday present today. And my dad's letting me have some cash tomorrow. Yay.

Umm...I feel Brand New-ish.

I feel a conspiracy. I feel like I'm not being told something. An odd feeling indeed. Anything anyone would like to tell me to ease this feeling? o.0

Lost without you.

"Are you afraid of being alone?
Cause I am, I'm lost without you."


Hah. I am teh emo.

Yay! Thanks Marriott - this put a smile on my face!

Remember: Don't make fun of someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away from them, and you'll have their shoes.

Just can't wait for the summer holidays.

I really can't be bothered with school right now. It starts in 5 days. *sigh*

And I can't be bothered for birthdays. Even if it is mine. Something's wrong here - I should be dying for this to come around! Not really. My parents don't trust me and I've got a bad feeling about the group. Oh. Dear.

Then there's my hunger. I haven't felt very hungry for ages. Ionly eat because I know I have to.

Bottom line is something's wrong with me and I need help.

So, the last history exam.

Had my last 2 history exams today - yay! I couldn't concentrate though. I have stuff all over my hands, too. There's a drawing and some writing which reads "It makes no sense". Fantastic. I reckon I got a D in the paper. I definetly lost 10 marks on CCK's paper because I didn't answer a 10 marker properly. It was just such a bitch of a question. And since I'm a C average with him, I got a D. Nokes, where I'm a B/C standard, wasn't bad. The first essay question was rather compact but very relevant. I wonder how I did, hmmm. In the 2nd essay question, I covered everything I needed to. Hopefully I done well. It's just a matter of how relevant I made it.

So, I'm distracted by some stuff right now. Errr, I should revising right now, but I can't be bothered. Umm...this time tomorrow I shall have no more exams until January, yay!

I have decided that I am a pansy.

Okay, so I watched Star Wars: Episode 3 three times and all 3 times I cried! I mean, the Jedi getting killed is SO sad! Plus Obi-Wan's fantastic talk after he's chopped Anakin up is worthy of a grammy.

I didn't cry watching National Treasure - thankfully. There's no points to cry at.

But I cried watching Finding Nemo! An animated film! I mean, when the mum disappears starts you off! Then you find out all the "baby fish" are gone! Then when Nemo gets kidnapped further takes you into sadness. What got me was when Nemo tries to escape but fails and then he goes to see Gil. Gil blames himself and a few tears dropped. Then you see Nemo lying there injured after all the fish escape! I didn't quite cry, but it's very sad, even though you know he's fine!

Then today, I started watching A.I. but it got to the bit where he says "I love you, mummy" and it's really soppy. I nearly cried. I would have, had I watched more of the film.

So, I have decided I am either a pansy, a homosexual, a woman inside or just a very sensitive person(nice wording for a pansy, basically).

Another update for you lucky people.

Just read these lyrics. They're from Bowling For Soup's song "Ridiculous";

Try not to talk when there's nothing to say ,
Kept bottled up, we get carried away .

Then I fall, then I fall down.
Then we fall down.
And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous.

A pocket full of posies,
We fall down on the inside, pretty on the outside .
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now,
But it's looking up .

A second chance, a much better day ,
A sunset that just won't go away .

Then I fall, then I fall down ,
We all fall down ,
And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous .

A pocket full of posies .
We fall down on the inside, pretty on the outside .
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now ,
But it's looking up.

And you know you said, you'd never end up this way .
Close the door behind you, I just wanna stay for awhile.
We all fall down, we all fall down, we all fall down ...

Down on the inside, pretty on the outside.
Turn it around, can we turn it around?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now .

Down on the inside, pretty on the outside.
Turn it around, can we turn it around ?
Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now,
But it's looking up.

I was just listening to the song and they stuck out. I really like that song.

In other news, on Friday, the guys(Dave, Sam, Marriott and Graham) are sleeping round mine. The girls aren't allowed. That suits me fine. Firstly, it's not happening because my parents think we'll have sex. It took 5 minutes, but I got it out of my mum after blocking her escape. So, whatever. My dad didn't try and stick up for my case either. Nice to know you trust me, assholes. They can spend however much money they want on me for my birthday - it means very little since they don't trust me. *sigh* Secondly, I'll have more fun with just the guys - I'll put my money on that. We can't get all emo and jealous about the girls but best of all; we can just be guys. We can talk all night about whatever the fuck we want. We don't have to shy away from talking about the girls because they're there and we don't have to avoid topics such as wanking. Yes, Marriott will be there but he'll be comfortable with it - I'm sure.

On other note, if you're still stuck for what to get me for my birthday, just give me money. I'm buying something worth £100 and I need the money to pay back to my parents. Thank you guys.

This Saturday had better be cool. I know it won't be. Don't ask why - I just know. I'll make what I can out of it. Oh, but I wouldn't mind doing what "Shut Up and Smile" suggests.

Fin.

Yay! I'm back from Thailand, alive!

I know this post is a bit late but I don't care!

My holiday with Dave was cool. We had two nights where we stayed up late talking about the group and how we missed the girl we liked. Just to make it clear, for Dave, that's Rachel and for me, that's Charlie. We done loads of shopping and bought lots of stuff. Me and Dave have a new fetish for shopping for girls. It'd be really cool to shop with them. Oh dear, we're going down a bad path... Didn't miss anyone THAT badly, except Charlie. I never want to miss someone like that again; I just felt something was missing. Blah. The fact I had her picture on the wall in front of my bed and above my head, may not have been the smartest idea. Dave bought a digital camera and other random stuff he may tell you about. I got a new Casio watch and the stuff I posted in my last post. Dad nearly bought a digital DVD camcorder. That would have been cool to own! Anyway, he's thinking about buying it here. It rained every day over there, but it was nice rain. On the Monday night, me and Dave deliberately walked in it because it was refreshing. Only swam once. Nothing more to report on, I don't think.

So, we landed today at 5:30am. I turned my phone on hoping for a text from Caz or Charlie, but none came. Then one came from Marriott telling me to pray for the Thomas' grand father who'd had a car accident. I was kinda miffed that I was greeted by that and not by a "welcome back, dude" or whatever. I don't believe Marriott had the balls to text me that after what I text him on Friday. He didn't text back to those! Anyway, I did pray but I still wondered why he hadn't sent the text to Dave. Went through the aiport and got home at 6:40. Unpacked some stuff and fell asleep. Went online to find Dave and Charlie. Graham joined us around 20 minutes later. Charlie told me she was going to Marriott's with Caz to cook before church. I nearly cried - for some reason. Actually, against my will, I did cry. But I really didn't want to and I tried to express to Dave how lame I thought it was. But anyway, it was upsetting. Before I went away, on the Thursday or Friday, Charlie said she'd come see me as soon as I got back. So for her to have made new plans just sucked. She did invite me round there, but still. I just pretended I was alright with it to her and said I couldn't go. I told Dave how much I thought it sucked. He blamed Caz, saying she shouldn't have made plans with Charlie when she(Caz) knew she(Charlie) would be coming to mine. I already laid blame on Caz, so Dave reinforcing it was not smart. It just made me rather pissed at her. Dave got paranoid Rachel might be going. Anyway, Dave told Charlie that he really thought she should go to mine because she made the plans with me first. So Charlie text Caz and cancelled those plans. I felt bad because she'd only cancelled those plans out of guilt. She probably wanted to cook more than see me. I mean, I'm not that fun. So I was kinda down because I wasn't much up to being with someone who'd rather have been cooking with Caz and Marriott. Anyway, somehow I cheered up and I wanted to see her. I was really disappointed I wasn't as anticipated as I was. I was looking forward to it so much I stayed up most of the flight thinking about it. Meh. Anyway, me and her made our plans to meet up. Parents and me went to get Tilly. Chatted to our family who were looking after her, then went to pick up Charlie and went home with her. I gave her the stuff I bought her on holiday, she liked it all - as far as I could tell so I was pleased. We just talked for a while, messed around and then she started some Science revision whilst I organized some food. We had some chips and chicken kievs. Yummy. Talked afterwards and then went to Graham's at 3:15 because Charlie promised him she'd try and see him. Not sure how that'd happened if she'd have gone cooking, but anyway, we went. I was up for it since it'd be cool to see him since I'd just got back from my holiday.

At Graham's, I sat at the end of his bed, Charlie sat at the top and he sat on his PC chair. We talked and that was all, really. We left around 4:25pm, came back to mine to find Dave there, I came him what he came for and then he left. 5 minutes later, Rach came by to pick Charlie up. I tried to settle down to some revision but gave up on that after a while. I just went online and chatted. That's all I did until I fell asleep on Marriott online. Hah. Sorry dude. =P

This thing that Dave invented.

Three screen-names I have had are:

Killa.
Blaou.
Nursi.

Three things I like about myself are:

My fashion sense.
My nose.
My wang (seriously =P).

Three things I do not like about myself are:

My jealousy.
My "pervertedness".
My hair and it's inability to spike up, anymore.

Three things that scare me are:

Dying alone.
The prospect of getting to see God one on one and him sending me to Hell.
Waking up and going downstairs to find my parents shot in their blood soaked sheets - it scares the crap out of me.

Three of my everyday essentials are:

Internet.
Phone.
Food.

Three things I am wearing right now are:

A shirt.
Socks.
Jockey boxers.

Three of my favorite songs are:

Fall Out Boy - A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me".
Brand New - Jude Law and a Semester Abroad.
Bowling For Soup - On and On About You.

Three new things I'd like to try in the next 12 months are:

No more wanking.
Thorpe Park (even if I will die).
Reversing my body clock for 2 weeks in the Summer.

Three things I want in a relationship are:

Trust/Honesty.
Love.
Commitment.

Two truths and a lie are:

My password , somewhere is "youfuckingtwat".
I own an A2 poster of Charlie.
I signed a refund slip "owned".

Three things I cannot do without are:

Food.
God.
Family(my friends are my chosen family).

Three places I'd like to go on vacation are:

Japan.
Australia.
Mauritius next year with the guys! Pwnage!

Three kids' names are:

Sebastian.
Jennifer.
Louise.

Three things I want to do before I die are:

Marry someone who fulfils the things I want in a relationship (trust, reciprocates my love, commitment etc.).
See my children, if I have any, grow up to be 25.
Have a positive, permanent effect on all my friends.

Three celebrity crushes I have had are:

Carmen Electra.
Kelly Brook.
Elisha Cuthbert.

Three people I nominate to complete this exercise are:
Charlie, Caz and Marriott.

Okay, guys help me. It's about these speakers.

Now, do I get the black or the white?

The list of things to not buy me for my birthday

• Fall Out Boy - From Under The Cork Tree.
• Simple Plan - Still Not Getting Any.
• Weezer - Make Believe
• blink-182 - Enema of The State.
• A suit.
• CD-Rs.
• Turqoise Converses.
• T-shirts/shirts.

That would be because I've got all of those so far. Dad's buying a digital camcorder tonight. No, it's not for me. I asked him for a £970 Sony laptop. It looks really cool, but the specs are pretty crap.

Anyway, see you guys. Hope you're alright.