The weekly thing.

Well, the update was pretty good but there wasn't any that I could relate to, except this one. It really struck me and I really like it.

Hacker! Hacker!

I just got a 'forgot your password' thingy from Blogger. Errr...someone's trying to hack my account. Hah. =P Yay... If you ever find my gmail password, I'll be suprised. You'll realise my emo-ness when you do. [/crap]



...I suck at BFME. Hah. Oh and I bruised my knuckle this morning. Clever me.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes.

"And when it all goes to hell, will you be able to tell me I'm sorry with a straight face?"

The PostSecrets.

The Personality Defect Test.

Take 'The Personality Defect Test'!

Post your results. I'll post mine after the rest of you have. >.<

Edit: Okay, so here's what I got;

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

You are 14% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being. Your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited.

Deja vu.

I feel as upset as I did on July 6th, for the same reason. Meh.

Another conversation about friends.

Person 1: Your friends are failures and that's all they're good for.
Person 2: *laughs* Oh, the irony of that is great...

Wanker. -_-

Me: I want to go on holiday. I need a break.
'Other person': Would that really be smart? Look at what happened the last time you went away.

Yeah, thanks. =/

So it happened a third night in a row.

Heh. So, I argued with Emily and Charlie about people not messaging me first. Charlie said she expected me to message her first - typical. Thanks Charlie. Emily said she didn't want to because she likes people to message her first in case they don't want to speak to her. Meh. So yeah, I'm not in the best of moods. Graham didn't come to mine tonight, instead he invited Charlie to his for 'fun'. There's a funny recording related to that...hah. No idea why he wouldn't come to mine but 'some people' were annoyed she went to his. But it's understandable is it not that it's fine since they're dating? Yes, of course.

So I text Charlie about the 'coincidences' and she ignored my text. Thanks, dear. Nice to know you don't give a shit about communicating with me. You're not only letting me down, you're letting us all down.

Some things do strike twice.

This is one of those things. Odd, isn't it? No, not really.

I blame Marriott.

You didn't phone me at 6 and it happened. Feel very, very bad.

Coincidence interests us all.

Well, wasn't that coincidental? Two events happened, with the first causing the second. Predictable and pathetic.

What I need.

"You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life right now and are unable to make decisions that pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't seem to get any better by whatever method you are using for now. There is a pain inside because of this and you feel helpless in your life, thinking you will never find your way back. But even though the path may seem dark you still try to find yourself, which means your inner battle is not over."

Just so you all know, I've never been stupid enough to harm myself.

Sum 41 and stuff.

So yes...yes...what to write? Well Sum 41 owned last night. The support had awesome music but their lyrics sucked. Some examples were "you are shit, you eat shit, you are what you eat" - WTF?! That's lame. The one that struck me the most, that they also has printed on t-shirts, was "Jesus wept and gave me a hard on". I did buy one of their t-shirts - of 3 emos hanging themselves. I got a red Sum 41 t-shirt too. Uber. So I stayed in the pit for the first 3 songs and I was trying to look after Charlie but then half way through "Over My Head", their 2nd song, a fierce circle pit developed and a guy jumped on my neck, and I had to bend over because it killed, then I lost sight of her. I searched for her but couldn't see. After taking quite a battering in the pit, I decided to move to the outskirts because I couldn't see Charlie to keep an eye on her, anyway. I stayed outside the main bulk of the pit for most of the gig, alone. Didn't bother me, but I was trying to pick the guys out. I saw Dave and he looked okay. Then I lost him as the Encore started. It was 3 songs - No Reason, Bitter End and something else. I went deeper into the pit, again jumping around and stuff. Didn't get very wet at all - yay! I met up with Sam, Dave and Rachel after. Charlie took about 5 mintues to finally meet up with us after Rach went to find her. I looked but didn't see her. Anyway, we all got a water bottle from mine and Sam's money. I got a lemonade, actually. Anyway, I was out of money. Whoops. We hurried out, Charlie was going to get a t-shirt then didn't under pressure to hurry up. Rach bought 2 posters and Sam bought one. Sam effectively gave his to me in the car.

So, we caught the right trains and they all came quickly. Yay. Charlie fell asleep on me on the Northern Line train and on the Met train back to Hillingdon. She looks so cute, like an angel, when she sleeps. =) She must have been so exhausted because she spent most of the gig at the front of the pit. =O Dave threw up, poor guy. He looked after Rach in the pit, but I bet she didn't appreciate it that much. Sam was pretty macho in the pit too, but he took a few hits as well. Dave made himself threw up at Hillingdon Station. His Dad was there to pick us up. Charlie ended up sitting on my lap, but was edgey about the idea because she said she was too heavy. That was utter crap because she's pretty light, so I've disproved that. She was first to get out, then Sam, then me. Mum and Dad were sleeping, mum opened the door for me and I went up. I got a drink of Sprite and my yoghurt drink. Had a headache and my neck ached from the guy jumping on it. I text Charlie something then went to lay in bed and read some more Harry Potter. Cou;dn't get to sleep until about 1:35. Don't remember where I got to.

So, I woke up this morning at 7:25 with a massive headache, my neck hurting, my left arm hurting and my legs were dead. I told this to my mum and dad but they didn't care. Ah well, used to it by now. Got out of bed at 8, yay. Got to school at ten to, but I wasn't late because I took the register up. *phew* Isabella, me and Mandip had a discussion about Harry Potter being against Christianity. Quite interesting. I brought my book in, so I read in during our first free. Got half way through Chapter 17. Had psychology in that room where Miss was late, Kieran talked about HP for like 2 minutes. Err, then he ended up reading my book, because he was also on Chapter 17. Miss then turned up at half past, to find us watching Jerry Springer under instruction from Miss Lloyd. Was pretty crap. Read HP through break and finished chapter 17. Just lazed around for the last 5 minutes of break before going to History. Sam was bunking so the lesson sucked. Fell asleep for 20 minutes right next to sir. I'm surprised it took him 20 minutes to realise and wake me up. Went home at lunch after finding Dave Marriott and Graham outside my room. Mine wasn't much fun. Just played music and we all seemed dead. Graham lay on my bed listening to his iPod, which Dave named the "anti-social device" at the weekend. I didn't talk to Graham all day and didn't see much point. If anyone was to start conversation it should be him since he blatantly ignored me outside Uxbridge station yesterday when we met up with him and Charlie. He just walked straight past me, Sam and Dave. I asked Sam, Dave and Charlie why he'd ignored me, then Sam shouted "Hi Graham!" when he was 10 metres away. He ignored Sam too - WTF?! So yes. We left mine around 20 past. Walked so slow, because we were all dead tired. Dave had the best reason - being in the pit for a pretty long time the night before. He went out just before the Encore, as I understand it. 4th was English where we spent half the lesson talking about Kirti's week at Eton then we read half of Chapter 2(A Room With a View). 5th was Ethics where she came, let us type our essays so off I went, home.

At home, I ate, watched the new Family Guy then read Harry Potter. I finished it, cried and got angry. Not a bad book but could have been better in several areas. Dog went to vet. Errr, chatted online for AGES to Emily and Nat. Didn't talk much to Dave. Charlie came on at ten to 11, we started chatting about five or ten past. Errr...yeah, thank you SO much for our conversation Emily.

Hope this entry meets your needs people. I'm off to bed.

Something I may do every Sunday.

If I see some PostSecrets that strike me and I think "hey, I can relate to that" I'll post them here. So, here we go.

I am emo...=(

Dave's double pwnage; on Graham, this time!

Dave pwned me and Graham. Blah at you, Davo. =P

And yes, that is my messenger account but Dave was typing. =D

Okay, so after a few phone calls and crappy days at school.

Yesterday, first of all. I shall start with school.
English: Oh, how fun. We marked out chapter 1. Yippee!
Philosophy: Went over religious language and stuff. Some smart Christian guy thougtht of a clever way which proved it IS meaningful to talk about God. Then we done an essay plan and could go. My lot left at 11:10 - yay.
Break: Went to see Mr Nokes about the meeting at lunch. He said if I was in tomorrow I didn't need to see him. So I just left, got Mr Cockcroft's work because he wasn't in and went straight back to lay in the garden. Caz caught up with me before I got there. We hugged. Fun. Laid on garden until I went home. Dave, Marriott and Graham had English. Hah.

That was a great day at school. Not. >.> Came home, changed, waited for Dave, then went to his at half past 1. We caught a U3 into Uxbridge. Met up with Emily in Natwest bank, where I paid a cheque for my mum. In uxbridge, I bought some hair gel which makes my hair look wet, Emily bought some hot pink nail varnish for Dave because he was too embarassed to buy it himself and we all got a drink. Oh, and we reserved Emily's copy of the new Harry Potter book! Yay! Errr, we spent about 40 minutes sitting on the steps in the Pavillions where you come down from the car park. 'Twas cool chatting about stuff i.e. the group.

Caught a U3 back home, VERY sadly. There were 2 girls from Uxbridge high and this black dude who looked about 15. They commented on mine and Dave's Converses, asking us where we got them from. Dave said "Thailand" and one of the girls said "Where's that shop?" And the other said "you idiot, Thailand's a country". It was funny! =D LOADS of people from Uxbridge High got on. One had huge boobs, as Dave may have pointed out on his blog - I don't remember. She was wet in a white shirt. I didn't spend too long looking,myabe 10 seconds. Blah, trying to stop being a pervert and it's not going to badly. Yay.

So, Dave and Emily came back to mine. It was kind of awkward at first because we were like "errr, what do we do?" Don't know why it was so awkward and quiet. =P I went down to get a drink, came back up and things felt better. Dave played melee, I had a short conversation with Emily, then we both observed Dave's pwnage. I played against Dave and lost my 4 points. Damn him! He evaded me for the last 25 seconds. I was Marth and he was Link, so it wasn't as easy as a Sheik vs Link match. Well, it's not easy with Sheik, he just wouldn't have evaded me for so long. But anyway, he went online after completing All-Star with Marth on normal. BLAH! I tried and failed - got too cocky. He went online and I sorta talked to Emily. At 5:20, they both left. I escorted Emily to her bus stop and waited 'til the U2 came. Err, Dave just went on home.

When I came back I don't actually remember what I did. I went online, parnets went out at 8:30, I put my music on volume level "7", which is pretty loud. It's usually on 3. Parents came home at 9:30 with some KFC stuff for me. Yay! I enjoyed that, whislt watching School of Rock, which owns.So I went back online about 11:20. Then I came off to read "Aftershock" because I didn't want mum to catch me online, she'd have killed me. Then Charlie pranked me and I phoned her back. We spoke for 20 minutes and it was awesome. I really, really miss her. Then I went back online at 11:40. Sorry that I kept you waiting Em! We chatted about random stuff, like always. I done my psychology leaflet and hit my pillow at 1:10am.


Today, I was woken up by my dad. He lifted up my duvet then put it back down. He done it to wake me up and probably didn't want to pull it off because I was nakie. Yay! It's so hot lately...Anyway, I was in the shower late and I got out at 8. I chatted to Don and left the house at 8:38. VERY LATE! Ah, I was going to be late for school. Only, when I got there, Mrs Dudley wasn't there. So I was early! w00t! Anyway, I did take the register, which was when I first realised I wasn't late. Talked to Adam, Isabella and Scott in form. Oh, and Mark briefly. Then Dudley came. She didn't take the register, just chatted with us. Then we went down to assembely. No-one could be bothered for it. Mr Harris complimented my pink shirt then said he wasn't quite so sure my Mickey Mouse tie went with it. It wasn't my intention. I just wanted to have Mickey with pink. Lame, I am. So, lessons.
Psychology: Fun! We saw Mark, Lizzie and Scott's presentation. It was alright, ours was better! I RAWR'd. Then Miss went over Social Constructionism. We went on several tangents. Watching a video tomorrow and then we're doing "relationships" all next week. Yay...I like that lesson except it makes me wonder about some things that I'd rather not state here. Use your imagination.
Philosophy: Yay...I read "Aftershock". Talked to the guys at times. Miss said the whole class wouldn't survive at uni. Ah well, I don't really care what she has to say. I think I'l survive. I might cry under pressure, but I'll pull through. I do have God with me, after all. And when you have God, you can do anything.=) That gives me comfort.
Break: Read "Aftershock". Been reading quite slowly lately, though. Odd. Oh, and I observed the fish. I love nature, sometimes.
English: Timed English essay, which wasn't THAT bad. I probably got a C, though. Didn't make enough use of English terminology.
Lunch: Read "Aftershock" in the garden whilst laying with Dave, Graham and Rosie. Marriott came at 12:50. At 12:55, me, Dave and Marriott left for CU. Graham didn't go. CU was pretty good. We talked about how God with us through the good AND bad times.We were all asked to give experiences and I said I felt he was with me last week. I was really upset. I'd cried, dwelled on something that was depressing me and so, I prayed. A couple of minutes later, I felt better and it was awesome. Two girls came in and Matt, one of the teachers at the school was explaining what Christian Union was about. Then he told them how God is with us through the good and bad times. They said something to dismiss that and so I said "God is watching you". Then he hurried out and I shouted "He knows what you're thinking!". One of them replied with "I don't think so!" I was like like 'yeah, whatever - you wish'. Idiots. Just remember that people. God is watching you all the time and he knows when you're not doing right by Him Oh yeah, and because of that I just wrote on my wall today "God is watching you". We then stuck post-it notes to a globe with prayers to certain parts of the world. Had some prayer time at the end. Bell went, we left.
History: The first half was cool. We had a girl, an ex-History student from Bishopshalt, come in to talk about university life. She's at Warwick. We discussed loads of things, and she treated us like we know nothing. The second half was Mr Nokes giving us an essay title with some notes to help. Yay! It was so BORING. Graham didn't even have period 4 because it was 'too hot'. LAME. His teacher deserves the sack.

So end of school, I walked with Dave. Caz bothered to come up to me and ask me if I was mad at her. She only did that because Marriott told me on my way to History she was depressed because she thought I hated her. I told him I didn't hate her, and he probably went back and reported to her, so she bothered to talk to me. Even thought she hid from and ignored me earlier!

I'm home now and I'm still waiting for the new Bleach to come out. Blah. I need to finish "Aftershock" tonight and I need to write my personal statement. Oh, damn.

Well, I'm feeling quite ill.

As soon as I got in yesterday, I was like "ow...my stomach hurts". About 22 hours later, I'm still feeling like that. Ouch. :(

Anyway, the Sum 41 gig has been rescheduled for this Sunday! Yay! Rachel, Dave and me can definetly go. Sam should have no problems, I just need to hear back from Charlie. She's away at her uni week-thing. It's odd not having her around, I miss her a lot. She's text me both yesterday and today though, so it's not as bad as it could be.

Erm, I still feel ill. And I have to leave my house now.

...*ill*...





































...*emo*

Nice guys.

I got this is an e-mail from Dave. I think we can both relate, no matter how arrogant that sounds. Girls, pay close attention.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


Hah. Doesn't it rock?

A wallpaper.

I made it today. It took me 15 minutes. My attempt prior to this one took around 3/4 hours, so it annoyed me that when I started from scratch, I did this one so quickly. Anyway, enjoy.

So, in school.

And I am seriously BORED. I should be at home, sleeping! I mean, I have a free in psychology the ONE lesson I was looking forward to. So, I have 30 minutes to type an entry, we'll see if I use that entire time to blog. Next lesson is history where I am noting from a book. SOMEONE SAVE ME. Then 3rd, which should be my free, I have citizenship! WHAT THE HELL?! Then 4th I have ethics, which is just meh. English with Deighton last. It's not THAT bad, but I would rather miss it. I feel like just calling my mum and telling her I'm ill, so I can go home. Actually, I DO feel ill.

The school system really annoyed me today. Someone gave me some psychology work to print off because he's part of my group. So i tried to print, and it failed. Then I tried to put it on my gmail account, as draft; they've blocked gmail. So I tried to use outlook express - the ydon't have an icon anywhere! So I had to put it on my blog as a draft. Blah. Anyway, I shall speak to Mrs Bull about teh job going at school tomorrow. MONEY IS MINE.

The o2 Quiz.

"Leave me alone," is your mantra. You're happy in your closed group but you'd really rather keep everyone else at arm's length. It takes a while to gain your trust and anyone who tries too hard is not going to get anywhere.

Spam emails probably get your goat more than anything else. If you want to buy something you'd rather be left to make your own decisions without the help of corporate-types steering you in their direction. Your philosophy is; "Don't call me, I'll call you. If you're lucky."

It's supposed to be a personality test, or something.

On today's attacks.

I'd just like to express my deepest sympathy for those who lost loved ones today. I'm praying for you. I hope you get through this time of panic and chaos.

Well, I just hate seeing the last update date.

So a short entry shall be made. Charlie's reading the last entry and conversation with Emily just died. So I thought I'd update quickly. I'm feeling slightly depressed, slightly angry and completely devoted to God. The feeling is amazing. It annoys me how my anger overcomes me and it pushes God away.
I actually started reading my Bible again today. Got about half-way through Genesis. I'm aiming to finish it by Thursday. Errr, I need to concentrate harder on God.
Some stuff happened today, and you're interested now, aren't you? Chances are you think you know all of what's happened. You don't. I'll blog on it and you should know all that I do