I've lost the will to live.
I was on the way back to the airport and several things went through my mind. I lost my phone, btw. I've reported it and everything. I won't get it back. The main point is this. I broke down in the bathroom and started crying. I couldn't stop. Mum heard and made me come out. Thenn, I broke down in my kitchen crying in my mum's arms. I just told her how everything in my life is crap and my life always goes this way. Things look up, then it all goes to shit.
My friendships are falling to pieces. Nearly every one of them.
I never get the girl I want. EVER.
My relationship sucks with God, how can I call myself a Christian?
I'm crap at school and I'm just a stupid person.
I'm crap at games.
I don't have a good family life. FAR, FAR from it.
Basically, I'm not good at anything. Everything sucks. I'm so close to killing myself now. I just want to leave. I can't take this anymore. I need out. I need out now.
My friendships are falling to pieces. Nearly every one of them.
I never get the girl I want. EVER.
My relationship sucks with God, how can I call myself a Christian?
I'm crap at school and I'm just a stupid person.
I'm crap at games.
I don't have a good family life. FAR, FAR from it.
Basically, I'm not good at anything. Everything sucks. I'm so close to killing myself now. I just want to leave. I can't take this anymore. I need out. I need out now.
posted by Aaron at 12:17 am
6 Comments:
Dude. I remember when I was down in the shits, when I wanted to cut or kill myself or whatever. You told me it was fucking stupid, cowardly. And I took note, I listened, and who knows maybe it was those words that saved me. I just ask you, to listen to the words you once said.
Also, I dunno who these friendships have been falling apart with, but I can't say I've seen it happening. I can't speak for anyone else, but I think things between me and you are the best they've been in years.
*doesn't know what to say* ='(
Aaron I know things are bad, I'm not going to say the whole thing cause youve heard it from everyone by now probably. Infacgt no I'll say it anyway, it will get better dude, it cant get much worse right! And your friendships dont seem to be falling apart, and if they are its probably jsut u thinking it not them.
but then again I dont no the full story
hey at least we're still friends
My friendship's are falling apart and I'll tell you why; I'm turning into a passive little asshole. Caz wanted to know why our friendship was going downhill and I realised. That's probably why most of them are going downhill. Not all of my friendships are crap, I'll point that out. I'm not going to identify whose I think are going crappy.
Aaron, even if our friendship does go downhill, I still want to be here for you, hun. =s
You being there for me won't do much for me will it? I'm not going to go there for help.
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